Drinking Party

By David Dunatov

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Narrator:  Hi everyone!  Today is a very rainy day and that F^&$^%^ sucks!  But instead of cursing and attacking chipmunks, lets see what the FF7 gang is doing!

(At the bar)

Everyone: chug, chug, chug, chug, Chug, Chug ,Chug, CHUG!

Barret: -=gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp=-  *  PATUEE *

Red XIII: Ewwwww!

Cloud: Barret, couldn’t take it?

Barret: Shut up you little white boy!

Cloud: My turn then.  (he steps up to the bar where marline hands him a vodka coke)

Everyone: 1, 2, and, 3!

Cloud: -=gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp……

Everyone: chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, Chug, Chug, Chug, CHUG!

Cloud: …..gulp, gulp, gulp=-  * PATUEE *

Barret: You couldn’t take it ether, huh?

Cloud: At least the author put more “gulps” in my sentence,

Barret: Damb you author.  Is it because im black you white foo!

Cloud: Narrator, who do you think won?

Narrator: ZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZzzzz……….

Cloud: NARRATOR!

Narrator: uh, um, wah?

Cloud: Look Sleepy, who do you think won?

Narrator: um, uh, hmmmmmmmmmmm………………

Everyone: …………………………….

Narrator: MY MOTHER!

Tifa: Clearly he is drunk!

Narrator: APPLE PIE, DO I SMELL APPLE PIE.  OOOO, LOOK, IT’S A MONKEY!

Barret: Yo author, who do you think won?

Author: How am I suppose to know?

Barret:  You wrote the story!

Author:  Oh! In that case,……….., it’s the Narrators Mom!

Barret and Cloud: Wha?

Author: Who do you think is that crazy 12 year old who danced on top of the bar table singing “Barbie, Barbie, Barbie!”

Cloud: Oh, I was too drunk then!

Author: Well, she drank 4 martinis, 3 whisky cokes, and one Vodka!

Barret: Children these days!

Cloud: How did he become the Narrator’s mom?

Author: Now that question I want to keep away for now?

Red XIII: WOOF, I mean, the father must of…..

Author: ZIP!

Red XIII: Bu…..

Author: ZIPIT!

Red XIII: But if I to…….

Author: ZIPLOCK!!!

Red XIII: …………

Author: ok, now I got to go, my mommy is making dinner tonight! (he scurries off)

Aeris: That was weird!

Vincent : …………..

Aeris: How do you know that Vin?

Vincent: …………

Aeris: So you, uh, I see!

Vincent: …………

Aeris: Cool!

Vincent: ……………!

Tifa: So guys, ready for another round?

Cloud: Nope

Barret: Not me eda

Red XIII: WOOF, I mean, no thx.

Mysterious Character: I dooooooooooooooooo

Everyone:??????

12 yr old: BA BA BA BA BARBIE!

Cloud: OMG, NOT HER AGAIN!

12 yr old: I GOT SILLY PUTTY I KNOW HOW TO USE IT!

END

Sephy: hey, where is my part in this skit!  This sucks, Jenova pass me a martini.

Jenova: TO YOU MR. IM ‘MOTHER’ AND NO ALCHOHOL FOR YOU TONIGHT YOUNG MAN!

Sephy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

END, REALLY!