Christmas Party at Tifa’s bar
By David Dunatov
Narrator: Hello people! Come and celebrate at Tifa’s bar with eggnog and pretzels and all types of goodies! Please pay a fee of 4000gil to get in and the rest is………………………………………….THE SAME!
(At Tifa’s Bar)
Red XII: WOOF!
Yuffie: Isn’t the doggy cute?
Barret: GRRRrrrrr, kibbles and bits stealer.
Tifa: Barret, I have a whole new bag downstairs
Red XIII: !!!
Barret: !!!
(They both go running like maniacs downstairs and end up, after fighting, sharing the kibbles and bits)
Red XIII: YUM
Barret: YUM
Narrator: But upstairs an evil force came. You probably have no clue who it is so I’ll give you one good one. His name rhymes with rephy and starts with an s. You got the name yet……………………its not that hard………………..ILL JUST TELL YOU, ITS SEPHY, COMON, WAS THAT HARD?
Author: Calm down, your scaring the horny 13yr olds reading this!
Narrator: Sorry
Author: Its ok
13yr old: Its ok
Author+Narrator: ???
13yr old: And im not horny………..well maybe alittle…………..uh, ok, im freekin horny!
Author: See, isn’t it nice to tell the truth?
13yr old: I going to look at some magazines now, bye.
Narrator: Kids these days!
Author: AMEN
Narrator: ok, so where were we, ah, so now, Sephy has entered the bar. Let me and the author take care of this.
Cloud: Man, you are so annoying, do you every die?
Sephy: I keep regenerating because people like me soooo much!
Cloud: ok the, raise you hand if you like Sephy.
(5 16yr olds raise there hands, then they run up to Sephy, kneel down, and praise him)
Narrator: How pathetic!
Cid: You $$%%& traitors, just to think they $#%^%^ massaged me yesterday!
Cloud: The funny thing is that all you can do is watch Sephy’s ego go up from every bow!
Author: I’ll fix that!
(POOOOF!)
Everyone: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sephy: This is most embarrassing!
Cid: JESUS, HES WEARIN A %^^$#$%#$^ TOOTOO!
Everyone(even the girls): HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…..-=breath=-…….HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Sephy: This is very most embarrassing!
Cloud: HAHA, that just ain’t right, HAHA!
(Sephy then goes running to his mother, Jenova)
Sephy: Mommy, mommy, they mean people at the bar were mean to me!
Jenova: I don’t know what to say honey, its not my problem that you killed of all of your friends.
Sephy: They teased me, no one teases me!
Jenova: Don’t you dare talk like that young man, we do not want plans of world domination or destructiveness or combustion in this house. GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Sephy: But mommy……….
Jenova: GO!
Sephy: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Author: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Jenova: And you young man….
Author: excuse me?
Jenova: Don’t be mean to anyone like that, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Author: What are you talking about woman?
Jenova: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME WOMAN, IM A GENETICALLY MUTATED SPECIES OF HUMAN!
Author: Yeah, whatever, let me do my job….
Jenova: Oh no you don’t…..
Author: Ow, don’t grab me by the ears, OWW, watch were you point the tentacles!
Jenova: NOW STAY!
Author: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
(Now back at the bar with no sidetracking like the first stories the author made. He made pretty good ones and you should check them out………..sorry, like I said, at Tifa’s bar)
Barret: Man I’m drunk!
Red XIII: WOOF, blaaaaaaaaa!
Yuffie: EWWWWWWW! Doggy threw up! What like so much like grossness and whatever.
Barret: Don’t worry Red, have some more * hic * Kibbles and you’ll feel * hic * fine………………….-=snore snore=-
Cloud: Wow, Christmas Eve and there are so many presents!
Tifa: Yup, I can’t wait till Christmas morning………
Aeris: Im back, I got some groceries and some snacks, something really cool happened at th……..PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tifa: Calm down Aeris……….
Aeris: CAN WE OPEN, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!
(Tifa slips a sleeping pill into a glass of water)
Tifa: Here, have a drink.
Aeris: Thanks -=sip=- this tastes so goo………_=snore snore=-
Tifa: Fast acting sleep away pills, garenteed a knockout in less than 10 seconds!
Cloud: Cool!
Tifa: I also slipped it into the Narrators glass
Cloud: Oh, that’s why he is not talking!
Narrator: zZZZZzzzzzZZzzzZZzzzZz
Tifa: awwwww, he is so cute when he’s asleep!
Cloud: How about we watch a movie tonight downstairs…
Tifa: By ourselves?
Cloud: Yup * wink wink *
(Later that night)
Tifa: uh uh uh uh uh oh yeah!
Author: ewww! Skip to morning!
(…………………)
Author: Dude, stop staring and do it!
Tifa: uh uh, HARDER, uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh yes yes more harder.
(………Ok, ok, Morning)
Narrator: -=yawn=- seems like its morning and everyone is ready for a fun present opening time!
Everyone: zzzZZZzzZZZzzzZzZzZZZZzzzzzzZZZz
Narrator: Maybe later!
(Downstair, he he)
Tifa: Oh, cloud, do I have a stick in my ass………
Cloud: oh, sorry, there we go.
Tifa: That was great, I cant feel me body….
Cloud: Well I did!
Tifa and Cloud: HAHAHAHA!
Cloud: Again……..
Tifa: OK!
Author: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Tifa: uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh yes harder uh uh uh uh uh uh!!!!!!
(Barret walks downstairs)
Barret: WHAT THE #$%#$^%#^%^#$^*$^*!!!
Tifa+Cloud: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!